My Skin: Narcissa's Story
by Cavloe12
Summary: Narcissa has a story, it's not what you'd normally associate with her prudish muggle-hating attitude, but it's her story. A story of years of hurt and abuse where she came to despise the teachings of her family. Good!Narcissa and possible slash in later chapters. Genres may change.
1. Chapter 1: Prologue

My Skin: Narcissa's Story

Chapter One: Narcissa's story, the Prologue

AN: This story is a bit odd, but I like it. I make Narcissa out to be the opposite of her namesake, meaning she is a giving and selfless person who kind of thinks she is a horrible person and hates herself. It later on (in the next few chapters, really) has some abuse and death and some other slightly unpleasant things such as attempted self-destruction. It is kind of a tragedy right now, but romance will be added in later. May contain slash in later chapters. Probably will.

Disclaimers: I do not own the song below or any of the characters you may recognise. There are some OCs though, those belong to me. Make sure you not that I do not make any profit from this and it is purely for my amusement.

* * *

Take a look at my body

Look at my hands

There's so much here that I don't understand

Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers

I don't need them

Because I've been treated so wrong, I've been treated so long

As if I'm becoming untouchable

Well content loves the silence

It thrives in the dark

With fine winding tendrils that strangle my heart

They say that promises sweeten the blow

But I don't need them, no, I don't need them

I've been treated so wrong, I've been treated so long

As if I'm becoming untouchable

I'm a slow dying flower

I'm the frost killing hour

Sweet turning sour and untouchable

Oh, I need the darkness, the sweetness, the sadness, weakness

Oh, I need this

I need a lullaby, a kiss good night, angel sweet love of my life

Oh, I need this

I'm the slow dying flower

I'm the frost killing hour

Sweet turning sour and untouchable

Do you remember the way that you touched me before?

All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored

Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers

I don't need them

I need the darkness, the sweetness, the sadness, the weakness

Oh, I need this

I need a lullaby, a kiss good night, angel sweet love of my life

Oh, I need this

Well is it dark enough?

Can you see me?

Do you want me?

Can you reach me?

Or I'm leaving

Then you better shut your mouth and hold your breath and kiss me now and catch your death

Oh, I mean this

Oh, I mean this

After the song had finished, Narcissa reached a long, delicate finger out and turned the radio off. She didn't normally care for Muggle music—actually, music was her favourite part of the Muggle culture—but this song was different, it reminded her of all she'd been through and what she'd suffered, which she needed to be reminded of sometimes or she might turn her ways.

She lay back in her chair, a black velvet covered, tall-backed armchair that had once been at place in her family home, and waited, thinking about the past, about the good times and the bad. The bad times weren't happy, no, not at all, but they reminded her why would never become a Death Eater, even if the Dark Lord was gone now, or hate muggleborns. She couldn't say anything for Lucius, as he did hate muggleborns, but at least he wasn't a Death Eater, she had convinced him to not do that.

A tear rolled down her cheek as she waited for her young son to come home. Oh, how she had missed him. Young Draco was the pride of her life; she missed him when he went to Hogwarts, and how terribly she missed his smile and the way he pranced about the house like he was his father. It always made her laugh. She did send him sweets and letters three-to-four times a week, but it wasn't enough, she yearned to see his face every day. Today he would be coming back from his third year at Hogwarts, she was very excited, but the thoughts of the past made her cry, they always did.

It was at that moment she heard a small pop in the hallway, a voice talking in a harsh tone and a small slapping sound. Draco then walked into the room and ran to Narcissa who had her arms open wide, awaiting him eagerly.

"Oh Draco, how I've missed you," she said as she nuzzled her head into his hair inhaling the scent of him that she had missed filling her house. It was so lonely when he was gone; he brought life back into the house. She ended the hug and held his face so that she could look into his deep silver eyes. "Do try to be kinder to the house elves, though," she kissed his cheek quickly and let him go. He sat in the chair next to her and looked at her.

"Mother, why are you crying?" He asked.

"Whatever do you mean, dear? I'm not crying."

"If you're you not, you were. Why? I demand to know." Narcissa laughed.

"No reason, no reason. It's not important."

"Of course it's important! Anything that makes _my mother cry _is important to me."

"Oh, all right. I guess you're old enough to know." Draco looked at her, surprised.

"You're really going to tell me? What is it? What?" He demanded, leaning over the side of his chair trying to get closer to her in a desperate need to know. Narcissa chuckled at his eagerness.

"The story of my life." Draco cocked his head, calculating what she had just said, the more he thought about it, the wider his eyes got.

"You mean, I finally get to hear the _whole _story?" He said excitedly, his eyes impossibly wide.

"That's right," she said smiling wearily. She was sure he wouldn't be so excited by the end of it, but there was no way she could get out of this. "Well, it all started when..."

TBC

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AN: Thank you for reading and please review. I need to know what you think! As you may have realised, this is the prologue and is rather short. The other chapters will be longer.

Pairings: Narcissa/Lucius, Narcissa/Remus, Narcissa/Andromeda (as very close sisters), Remus/Sirius, James/Lily, Severus/Lily, James/Severus, Ted/Andromeda, Bellatrix/Barty Crouch Jr., Sirius/Regulus (possibly), Narcissa/Regulus (as very close cousins, really it's Nar/Reg/Andro, but whatever)


	2. Chapter 2: Bellatrix

My Skin: Narcissa's Story

Chapter Two: Bellatrix

AN: Thank you to all those reading! I hope you like it, your happiness and reviews are what drive me! Please note that Narcissa is in the same year as the Marauders. It can also be said that this story is not canon. There are very few things in here that are canon. These things include: Lucius/Narcissa, Andromeda/Ted Tonks, Bella/Rudolphus(in marriage, not love), possibly James/Lily and most of the house sortings. Consider yourself warned.

Warnings & Disclaimers: See First Chapter

* * *

"...when Bellatrix came back from her first year at Hogwarts. Before then she had been a wonderful, kind and amazing older sister so me and Andromeda were thrilled when she came back. We had missed her dearly, but she, she had changed... you know how crazy, insane and messed up she is now?" Draco nodded. "Well, she started becoming that way after her first year." Draco's mouth dropped.

"I thought she had always been like that! To have started changing so young..."

"Hmm, yes, but that one year in Snake Pit, as they call it, took away all kindness and benevolence and turned her into a raging maniac."

"But Slytherin isn't _that_ bad."

"Oh, but it used to be. A couple of the younger students changed it and made it into what it is now. I'll also tell you about them. Now, when Bellatrix came back from Hogwarts, mother and father decided to go on vacation as they decided Bells was old enough to take care of us. Andromeda and I were very excited to be spending so much time with our loved and revered sister. But as soon as they left she put us straight to work. At first she used the premise that we were giving our parents a surprise by making the house perfect. Then when she found us taking a break she would yell at us and we would get back to work. Eventually she started slapping us when we stopped working and then the happy thoughts of our parents delighted faces slipped away and we realised Bella was just doing this to keep us preoccupied so she could go out and do whatever she wanted while we stayed and worked. We were so afraid of her that we never stopped working, even when she left..."

* * *

"Cissa, Andro, we are going on a couples vacation to Bermuda for most of the summer. Bella is going to stay and look after you while we are gone, you be good little girls! Goodbye!" The two little girls, one with straight, blonde hair, the other curly light brown hair nodded and waved as their parents walked out the front door dragging their suitcases behind them. As soon as the door closed, a girl with long, curly black hair came out from behind a door on their left. Both of the girls turned around and smiled at her, she gave them a smug smirk in return and walked to stand in front of them, hands on her hips.

"So... you two are under my complete control now? I am like your mother and you have to do whatever I say?" Andromeda and Narcissa looked at each other, slightly confused before turning to nod and smile at their older sister. Bellatrix's smile turned feral. "Good then, the first thing we shall do is get to work. Why don't we clean up the house so that when mummy and daddy come back, it will look spick and spam and we can give them a nice surprise," she said, leering at them and making a large circle with her hands. Both girls nodded eagerly. "Good, now go get the cleaning supplies and we'll get straight to work."

Narcissa and Andromeda went to the supply cabinet, not even bothering to ask why the house elves couldn't do it. If Bella wanted them to do something, they were very willing to do it. They then started to clean each of their rooms, Bella's being last and dirtiest. Bella, on the other hand, sat in the dining room, writing letters to her all of her friends she had made that year.

...

June turned into July and they moved from the second floor of the house to the second floor of the house, making sure that everything was without a spot and beds and such were made perfectly every morning. They rarely stopped, and when they did, they would here Bella's voice yelling at them to get back to work, even when she had left to go see her friends or something. They had come to fear that voice. Sometimes, when Bella was home, she would come in and slap them before telling them to get back to work. Now, they never knew when she was at the house or when she wasn't, so they worked all day, until the sun had set behind the clouds.

When they did go to bed, Narcissa would usually go into Andromeda's room and they would talk about things they hoped for and their futures and many other things that girls of the ages seven and nine talked about. Narcissa was mild and sweet and well-mannered while Andromeda was more vibrant and a bit tom-boyish at times. Narcissa loved reading and would sometimes spend her nights in her own room reading about History or Transfiguration, which was always her favourite. She wasn't too keen on fiction as the thought of a made up world made her feel like she wasn't as all-knowing as she thought herself to be. She loved listening to Andromeda's stories, though, they were always magnificent and talked of kings and queens in faraway places that she knew for a fact didn't exist on earth.

Bellatrix was always the nice and kind older sister that watched her two younger sisters from afar with a pleasant smile. That had changed this year. She now used them and just gave them busy-work while she went out with friends. Narcissa had learned at the end of June, when Bella had first started to hit them that this was not about making the house clean for her parents return. She did not know what it _was_ about, but she didn't like it.

...

On the twenty-third of July, they got a letter from their Aunt Walburga saying that she, their uncle and two small cousins, Sirius and Regulus were coming over to spend a few days there and see how Bella was holding up as temporary Head of the House. Narcissa was relieved. She could stop working. And Sirius was coming over! She had always enjoyed his company and, as her mother put it, "found him a hoot to be around," she wasn't quite sure what that meant, but it sounded right. He and Andromeda were always pulling pranks on Bella and making Narcissa and Regulus laugh. She wasn't sure he should pull any pranks on Bella this year, or she might lose her temper and hit him, but Narcissa would take pleasure in his company and the break from working.

They came on the twenty-fifth and as soon as Sirius and Regulus came in the door, Narcissa surrounded them both in a large hug.

"Welcome! Welcome! I am so glad you are here! And Uncle Orion, I have a few questions about something I read in one of fathers books..."

"Ah, my little owl, why don't we get settled in first, and then you can your questions," Orion replied, smiling at her endearingly. She smiled politely back and stepped to take his bags.

"Do you mind if I take your bags?"

"Of course not, dearie; but couldn't you leave it to the house elves?" Aunt Walburga said, squinting her already small eyes at Narcissa. Narcissa put down the bags and looked slightly dumbfounded.

"Right, house elves. Sorry, forgot we had them."

"And why would you forget? Don't you use them every day? To clean up this, oh my, this beautiful house? It really does look quite nice," she said, looking all around the drawing room, before focusing back to Narcissa. "And to cook?"

"Oh, yes. Of course, I just never see them because we are always out or in a different room while they are cleaning and the food is already out on the table when we eat." That was one of lies that Andromeda had come up with when Bella told them not to tell their relatives that they had been doing all the cooking and cleaning for the past few weeks. Narcissa really had forgotten there were house elves because Bella had told them to stay in a cupboard until she said to come out. Now they were out and she saw Dipsy come and take their luggage up to the guest rooms where they would be staying. Narcissa was not good at lying. That had always Andromeda's task. She sighed and looked up to see Sirius smiling at her crazily. She gave him a quirked brow and he grabbed her hand and ran up to the room he and Regulus shared when they stayed. He sat on his bed and Narcissa sat across from him.

"So, what have you been doing this summer?" There it was the ultimate question that would test her loyalty to Bella. She should lie. She wants to. She will. Bella could hear her if she didn't.

"Oh, you know, reading and other boring stuff..." she replied quietly and turned into herself. Sirius looked at her questioningly but shrugged and went on to talk about his summer going out and about London with Regulus and his parents doing lots of fun things and pulling pranks on Lucius Malfoy and Rhea Lestrange and her brothers. Narcissa listened intently. Laughing when she wanted. Saying things she had thought the person he was talking about would say. They stayed up in that room until it was time to eat.

"Narcissa, didn't you have some questions you wanted to ask me?" Uncle Orion asked. She looked up from her plate quickly, she had completely forgotten about that.

"Oh, yes! I had completely forgotten!"

"You seem to be forgetting a lot today," Orion said and she blushed as everyone at the table laughed. Except for Bellatrix. She was staring daggers at Narcissa. Narcissa tried to issue out a nervous laugh and went on to ask her questions. Her and Uncle Orion talked about them for the rest of dinner, much to Sirius' displeasure; but Andromeda made up for it with a running dialogue with him for the whole meal.

...

The next day, Narcissa, Andromeda, Sirius and Regulus all went out to a nearby muggle park. At the entrance, they separated, Narcissa and Sirius going to the playground and sat on the swings while Andromeda and Regulus went over to the pond to play with the ducks. Narcissa was struggling desperately to not tell Sirius about Bellatrix, this was going to be a rather hard visit.

"So, Bellatrix went to Hogwarts this year, eh? Did she tell you anything about it? Does it seem as awesome as our parents make it seem? Or were they just trying to make it way cooler than it really is?" He said the first three questions with amazing spirit, but the last with rising suspicion. What, did he not trust his parents to be honest about Hogwarts?

"Well, she actually hasn't said anything..." Narcissa said truthfully and Sirius drooped down like a disappointed dog and Narcissa snickered, she had been taught to not show her emotions so easily. That was one of the reasons it was fun to hang out with, he was so open. Narcissa wasn't really like that; she was as expressionless as she could be. Which didn't saying much, she knew it was because hiding your emotions was another form of lying, and, as stated previously, she was terrible at lying.

"Oh, well has she said anything at all? She didn't really talk much last night." Narcissa couldn't do this. She was going to explode soon, she could feel it.

"Well..." and she burst out in tears.

"Narcissa? Are you all right?" Sirius asked desperately.

"B-Bella, she's-she's not th-the s-same. Sh-she's changed." She sobbed.

"Changed? How?"

"Sh-she made us c-clean the house."

"Umm, clean the house?"

"Y-yes, and whenever w-we s-stopped she w-would yell at us t-to get back to w-work."

"I thought something was odd. House elves don't usually clean that well... did the house elves help you any?"

"N-no, she t-treated us l-like we, like we were the house elves," she kind of screamed the last two words and Sirius looked around and saw there were people staring. He coaxed her up and brought her to a more secluded spot.

"Tell me everything," he said sternly, she calmed herself a bit and told him the whole story. About the days when she couldn't cook and she and Andromeda would have to eat their burnt toast and clean up all the spilt milk they made. She could cook now. Andromeda was better, but she could make enough to survive on. And the endless days of cleaning and getting up at dawn and cleaning again. She'd probably have to start all over now that Sirius and the rest of them had come. She also told him about Bella's slaps and how they left bruises on her delicate skin, she even showed him some of them.

"Oh god, I've got to tell my parents. This has got to stop."

"No! If you do that Bella will know I told you. She-she'll do worse than this, I know it," Narcissa begged.

"Get up. Blacks don't beg." He said sternly. She could tell he was mad. He never used that tone unless he was really angry. He put out his hand and she grabbed it lightly like the lady she was and narrowed her eyes at Sirius as she wiped her eyes and stood up.

"You never use that saying. Only Andromeda and Bellatrix use that..." she said suspiciously.

"I just don't like seeing you so pitiful. You're better than that," he said and suddenly found himself in a bundle silk, hair and soft skin, holding him.

"Thank you, Sirius. You're my favourite cousin—no, relative in the whole world!" Narcissa said, clinging to him desperately. Sirius smiled and returned the hug. They stood there hugging for a while before Narcissa said, "Just don't tell you parents or mine about Bella," that snapped him out of his happy reverie of smelling the warm summer breeze. He took her and held her arms and looked at her sharply. "Please?" She pleaded with large eyes.

He rolled his eyes and they walked out from behind the building they had hidden behind. "Fine. But I want to do something, what can I do?" Narcissa thought about it for a second.

"You can come to our house on my birthday!" She exclaimed. "You and Regulus and Rhea and we can have a birthday party and you can stay over for a while!" She was now bouncing with joy. She had never had a birthday party before, her parents thought it was useless and unnecessary; but they always got her birthday presents, loving to spoil her and her sisters. Last year, she had even forgotten her birthday

"That's a great idea! As long as we don't call it a birthday party, you know our parents won't agree to that," Sirius said excitedly.

"Ooh! And we can make a cake! Andromeda can make cakes really well. She made one for Bella's birthday last month! Bella even let us have some, it was delicious!" She said excitedly and Sirius was looking just as excited.

"That sounds great! We should probably go back now, Andromeda's probably wondering where we are," he grabbed Narcissa's hand and they walked back to the pond where Regulus and Andromeda stood waiting.

"There you are! It's time to go. Bella and your parents are probably worried sick. Narcissa, are you okay? You look like you've been crying?" Andromeda said when she looked at Narcissa's face, a small frown coming to her lips.

"Oh, I'm fine. Just fell off the swing is all." Which was completely true, she had fallen off the swing when she started crying.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" Andromeda asked, always the motherly figure. Narcissa hoped she didn't change when she went to school as well.

"Just scrape on my knee," she gave a small shrug and lifted her knee so Andromeda could see, as was customary.

"Don't shrug; it's so unlady-like!" Andromeda said, sounding scarily similar to her mother.

"Says the girl who likes to stomp in the mud after it rains," Sirius said and Nacissa and Regulus giggled, Andromeda rolled her eyes and looked at Narcissa's knee.

"It doesn't look to bad; I'll have Aunt Walburga heal it when we get back," she said quickly, got up and they all started to walk out of the park.

"Me and Cissa were thinking about having a gathering at your house on her birthday and bringing over Rhea and having cake and stuff!" Sirius said at one point.

"A birthday party!" Regulus shouted and Sirius clamped a hand on his mouth.

"_Not_ a birthday party," he said with gritted teeth and then lowered his head to Regulus' ear, "yes, a birthday party, but they don't like to hear that, so keep quiet." He whispered and Regulus' eyes widened in excitement.

"Well I would be all right with that, but I'm not in charge. You'll have to ask Bella and your parents about that." Narcissa and Sirius frowned at each other, how would that work out? Bellatrix was sure to say no, but if Sirius' parents agreed, Bella would have to say yes too, wouldn't she? So Uncle Orion, who was more likely to say yes, was their only hope. Not very hopeful, really.

They walked the rest of the way home in perfect silence. Sirius and Narcissa wondering how to convince Sirius' parents and Andromeda and Regulus looking at random things they found along the way, without a care in the world. When they got home, they told Sirius' parents and Bella about their birthday plans. Surprisingly, Aunt Walburga was the first to agree and then Orion and then Bella who was giving Narcissa many menacing glares all the while.

...

The day after the other Blacks left, Narcissa and Andromeda went straight back to work, Bella made Narcissa work extra hard by giving her the areas that had not been cleaned while Andromeda got to do the less dirty places where their relatives had stayed.

Bella beat them a little extra, now kicking them when she thought they weren't doing enough work. It was horrid, Narcissa counted the days until her birthday to get her mind of. Ten days, nine days, eight days, seven days, six, five, four, three, two, one.

The day came, August seventh, Narcissa was so excited. She sat at the front door for one hour before they came. She was dressed in her best dress and when doorbell rang she opened it to see her best friend, Rhea Lestrange, standing in the doorway. As soon as Rhea saw her, she gave her a large hug. Sirius and Regulus came tromping in behind her and

"Sirius told me all about what Bella is doing. I really think you should tell someone, but if you don't want to I'm not forcing you. Just saying it would be a really good idea," she whispered in her ear and Narcissa tensed. Rhea turned around and smiled broadly at Andromeda. "I heard there was cake! Where is it? I want some. Lots. All of it. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" She said, rubbing her hands together and licking her lips.

"Now, Rhea. That is no way for a young lady to behave." Andromeda said sternly.

"Yeah, says the girl who likes to go fishing with her bare hands," Sirius said and both girls snickered. Andromeda glared at him for a second before leading them all to the Dining room where the cake was. Bellatrix was nowhere to be found. She was probably just out with her friends out somewhere. They quite reluctantly ate the cake that Andromeda had taken a lot of yesterday and today to prepare. It was really a beautiful cake. The patterns and flowers on it were so intricate and it fit Narcissa's personality almost perfectly. It was yellow, white and purple, Narcissa's favourite colours, and the flowers were pretty little daffodils with perfectly ruffled centres and swirling light purple and yellow curls that made it look a bit like long flowing golden locks of hair.

"Andromeda, it's beautiful!" Narcissa exclaimed upon first seeing the cake.

"Very pretty cake!" Regulus said. Andromeda blushed.

"Well... it's not much, I could have done better with more time..." she said quietly.

"It's amazing!" Rhea said staring at it in wonder. "Almost makes me not want to eat it."

"I still want to eat it. So let's go," Sirius said.

"Boys," Rhea said, rolling her eyes as she sat down.

They ate and talked and laughed about many random things for hours until it was time to go to bed.

The three of them stayed until the twelfth and three days later their parents came home to a completely clean house. They were very impressed and Narcissa was oh-so glad. Bella was standing in the corner of the room, smirking and looking very smug that she had not got caught. She hadn't, their parents just thought they had worked the house elves very hard and did not get why Narcissa and Andromeda were so happy that they liked it. Narcissa had the best meal since their relatives came over and they had to let out the house elves. Narcissa was very content for the last few days of summer as she read and went to work with her father and when Bella went back to school on September first she was the happiest she had been all year. Little did she know what was to come next summer would be worse.

* * *

AN: Thank you for reading and please do review! As I said, not very canon and some of the characters are pretty OOC (if you know enough about the marauders period characters to know what they are like). Has anyone read "The Youngest Black" by moi? Well if you have, did you notice that Rhea was in there? She's Zoë and Lyra's mother! And if you're confused about ages (it confused me) it is 1968 and Narcissa turned eight, Bella turned 12 and Andromeda was 9 the whole time. So, yeah... thanks again and please, pretty please review?

Pairings: I am changing the familial pairings from Nar/Reg/Andro to Reg/Andro, Sirius/Narcissa, Regulus/Sirius, and Andro/Nar. Andromeda and Sirius are close, just not as close as Narcissa and Sirius, the same applies for Reg/Nar and Reg/Andro respectively.


	3. Competition

Hello all! No, this is not the next chapter of this story, it is a competition!

I have five stories on my account and I must admit I think I over-did myself and so I will only be continuing two of them for now.

Note: none of them will be completely deleted and in the future I may continue some if I feel a need to.

Note 2: Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy is not part of this competition and there will only be on winner of this competition

Anyway, the poll is up on my site so go crazy!


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